She Found Style

an attempt to discover my sense of style in one year and learning more about myself than I ever imagined along the way

Learning about style didn’t make me any cooler

Spending the last 11 months learning about style has taught me a lot about myself.  But it also didn’t do a few things.  First up?  Blogging about style didn’t make me any cooler.

I’ll admit it – I’m always on the lookout for ways to be a little more cool.  In fact, I’ve always had a mental list floating around in my mind about things that aren’t and things that are – cool.  I’ll keep the list private just in case my “not cool” things happen to be someone’s “cool” things.  You never know.

But I was really hoping I’d get a little cooler, more hip, more together by learning about style.  Nah – didn’t happen.  No one, not one person, came up to me over the course of this experiment to comment on my increasing cool-factor.

So I’m not the coolest girl on the block.  But I’ve come to realize that “cool” is what other people might label me as and I’d really rather be the one to define me.  I don’t want to work so hard to have someone else maybe or maybe not give me the thumbs up of approval.  Eh, too much effort there.  And more seriously, it’s not the way life should be lived.

So I didn’t become a super-hip-master but I’m starting to shake the need for that approval from others.  Not bad.


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4 thoughts on “Learning about style didn’t make me any cooler

  1. I think that is awesome. I don’t think clothes should change you. If you are cool of course you style will be cool. If you are geeky your style ought to be geeky. If you are laid back and chill and a bit artsy as you appear to be that is what your style will show. And since there is not only one form of cool you may very well have moved to the top of tier of your flavor of cool. I think it is interesting that you feel cool to be external and I feel it is something that comes from inside. People who feel cool usually convince other people that they are cool just by being themselves and projecting confidence.

    Since I don’t know what your definition of cool I can only say that if you don’t fit it then you probably aren’t meant to. I have a fantasy style of total high class glamour. It is not me at all. I love to imagine I am just like some billionaire housewife who lives in stilettos and wears giant jewels and spends my time jetsetting, but honestly it does really seem like too much work. I don’t like to put on make up. I don’t like how painful stilettos are(no matter how gorgeous). And I am afraid of flying over oceans. I would love to have more money to play with, but I really like being me. Seems like you like being you. As you should.

    P.S. People don’t usually tell cool people that they think they are cool. It is usually assumed that cool people already know they’re cool. Telling them would be redundant. They disguise these thoughts by paying compliments on specific items or actions. And if you have to ask some one then that is not cool and they would have to say no. So don’t assume no one thinks you’re cool.

    P.P.S. I wish you could come down the coast and take photos for my new blog. I am failing at that and yours are so lovely.

    • Cosmo, your insight is right on! I loved reading your perspective and adding bits of it to mine. One thing I love about this space is the exchange of ideas. Yours are well thought and worth sharing. Thanks for taking the time.

  2. High five, lady, on summing up what learning about your style has and HASN’T taught you! I’m starting on that same road, and it’s interesting to hear stories from further along.

    I get my wires crossed: I want to dress myself better, but I get confused and start thinking that should be part of a great Organize My Life Project. As though learning how to wear buttondown shirts under sweaters without looking lumpy will make me Fundamentally Okay on the inside. Being told that you’ll never wake up Cool some morning– like Kafka’s Metamorphosis, ugh– is somehow reassuring. Crushing that hope helps me realign and realize that gradually plugging away at personal style isn’t as futile as I think.

    Because I enjoy talkin’ to people and working on this style thing, but their approval isn’t what its about. Hmm.

    Good post. Thank you.

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