She Found Style

an attempt to discover my sense of style in one year and learning more about myself than I ever imagined along the way

Finding That Unique Style

Two weeks ago I was in San Diego visiting a friend.  I traveled all over the city – trying out all things San Diego.  It wasn’t until my last day of the trip, while I was enjoying my last In-n-Out burger, that I saw a person with a very unique style.  And it wasn’t until I saw her that I realized I hadn’t seen anyone with unique look on my entire week-long trip!  Everywhere I went, everyone looked the same.  Which made me realize that I blend in just as much as everyone else which made me feel impatient that this style journey hasn’t moved any faster which made me want to quit this whole thing.  (Can you hear me stamp my foot for added effect?)

But then I took a week off (which turned into to two) to breathe and not worry about it.  A friend once told me to, “Get over yourself Betsy”, (best advice ever).  So that’s what I’ve been doing.

But now I’m back at it.  I think the topic has become one of what makes us unique?  And does everyone desire a unique outward appearance?  Or is it just some people who want to stand out visually?  Is it superficial or silly to want this?  And what if I just don’t know how to add that unique touch but really want to?  Well, now you know why I need to take a break from thinking every once in awhile.  Phew.

This week I’m hoping to shed some light on my latest round of questions.  I don’t have any answers – but if you do, please share!

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17 thoughts on “Finding That Unique Style

  1. I absolutely LOVE these pictures, especially the middle one…you’ve got so many great patterns and textures going on, and the background sure doesn’t hurt.

    Can’t wait to find out what you discover in this.

  2. I know what you mean Betsy. Its the same as ‘What is your style?’ or ‘Who am I?’ and I dont mean memory loss!! Some poeople are exhibitionists, but generally people know what suits them. Personally, I am still finding myself. I love to ‘get dressed up’ but just going out in a pair of jeans and a sweater can look fab too as long as you feel good. Betsy you have probably hit on one of those there is no answer questions!!!!

    • Lady G, say it isn’t so! I’ve got to find an answer! I’m just too analytical not to…

      • Ha ha Betsy. What is it that Coco Chanel said “Fashion fades, only style remains the same’ I portray style as chic, classic, sophisticated. Something that has that subtle turnign head factor. Sometimes its more about the woman than the clothes!

  3. Love this post, Betsy. I find myself conflicted – I’ve always loved those women with a unique style, the ones who are referred to in terms like, “You know her…she’s the one who always wears capes/huge earrings/striped socks/insert-standout-garment-here.” But then again, I like variety. There are too many different fun looks I want to try without feeling confined to a specific style. I do hear myself saying (a la Shelby from “Steel Magnolias”) that turquoise is my “signature color,” and it is flattering so I wear it often, but I don’t know if it’s often enough to make it a unique style feature. Ah…I’m rambling now. 😉
    Anyway, thanks for some tasty food for thought to start the week.

  4. I am also seeing that everyone looks the same. Sometimes, I dress to blend in, other times I dress to try to stand out and be an individual…depends on my mood. I say do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable.
    Love htat fun scarf and those leggings…I think you are styling a great outfit!

  5. what makes us unique?
    I think it is the sum of all the little details that makes every individual unique. What you like makes you unique and who you are makes you unique what genetics gave you makes you unique.

    Does everyone desire a unique outward appearance?
    No. I think most people want to blend in. Well, at least blend in enough to not stand out more than most people. Kind of like a group of high school girls going shopping and each buying a different color of the same shirt from A&F or everyone wanting to have the same great nerdy eyeglasses but not exactly the same frame as the person next door.

    Or is it just some people who want to stand out visually?
    This is what I think. It takes a pretty big personality to want to draw attention to oneself. I am a former acting student and always feel like I need to have attention however it was only the last few years where I preferred to have that sort of attention from the way I looked as opposed to what I did. It is weird to have someone looking at me and talking about me and not to me.

    Is it superficial or silly to want this?
    I don’t think it is silly at all. Playing with fashion is an art and totally worthwhile if it brings you joy.

    What if I just don’t know how to add that unique touch but really want to?
    Well this is sort of hard to say. I went to school for fashion design and so my eye is trained to spot trends and so I naturally end up in the early adapter group with fashion. I feel like to be able to stand out visually you have to be able to spot the trends and then choose to wear what us not going to become popular. You have to evaluate what the people around you are wearing and find what it is that you like that is not what other people are wearing. Also it helps to not buy manufactured clothes and do a lot of DIY. This only works for fashion though and not for style. I think with your scarves you have a lot of options for unique ways to wear them.

    I totally just rambled on your post but I have been trying to decide how much blending I like vs. how much I like to stand out. Since I became I mom 5 1/2 years ago I want to blend just enough not to embarrass my kids, but I don’t know how much that is.

    • Cosmo – Thanks for taking the time to leave such a well thought-out reply. Wow – what a treat! I love your perspective and am grateful that you took the time to share. Hope to see you around more!

      • Thinking about this some more I was thinking that there is a big difference between standing out and being unique. I live in L.A. and was looking around and thinking that everyone really does look the same. Then I stopped and really looked at them and there were people in the group who had pink hair and huge piercings and loud vintage dresses and wild shoes. No two people in the crowd had the same style, but having lived here for so long I have seen it all before in some variation. It doesn’t stand out to me but when my sister comes from the east coast she thinks the people here are unnecessarily flashy. Different things are going to stand out to different people. Even if you think you stand out chances are pretty good that there are people who will think you blend in.

      • Cosmo – Thanks for taking the time to leave this encouragement. Slowing down and truly looking at people will show you the actual unique-ness that we all carry.

  6. Great questions. I was thinking along these lines today before I read your post. So many of the style blogs I’ve been reading encourage us to stand out/be very unique with our apparel. That’s wonderful for those who love it. But that’s not me, and that’s okay. I feel best if I’m wearing something that fits well, is flattering to my body type, and is appropriate to the situation. I don’t want to be boring looking, but I also don’t want my clothes/accesories/make up to prevent someone from seeing me.

    • Marti – I like your comment about not wanting your outward appearance getting in the way of someone seeing Who you are. Thanks for taking the time to share what’s really important.

    • I think that you are so right. If you’re wearing clothes that prevent you from being seen for who you are you are definitely wearing the wrong thing. Your attire should be an outward representation of who you are not a disguise or costume.

  7. Brilliant scarf!

    To be unique? Wear what you love. Do what you love. Buy what you love.

    No, really.

    It sounds really simple and flippant, doesn’t it? But it’s true. If you only wear/do/buy things you love you can’t help but cultivate your own unique style.

    Looking around my living room right now, it’s furnished with pieces I fell in love with. No one else has a room that looks like this. Maybe they have the same bookshelves from IKEA but they’re not filled with the same things.

    Same with my wardrobe. Pieces I love. Maybe someone has the same dress but they don’t wear it the same way or pair it with the same things.

    It warrants saying again: If you only wear/do/buy things you love you can’t help but cultivate your own unique style.

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