She Found Style

an attempt to discover my sense of style in one year and learning more about myself than I ever imagined along the way

Dear Diary: Baggy, A Bit Boring, and Totally Blah

This morning when I stared into my closet contemplating what to wear, I really did want to look good.  I really did want to feel great.  In fact, I had even shaved my legs the night before so I could wear something fancy.

But I grabbed my usual go-to instead:  A black t-shirt and some pants that were once great but are now starting to look very baggy.  A bit boring.  And totally blah.

I’m beginning to notice how I feel when I am well-dressed compared to when I am not.

When I love what I am wearing (which does happen occasionally) I think of the outfit as “dress up”.  Like I’m not really supposed to be wearing something that looks so good.  When I “dress up” I feel awesome.  I feel beautiful and noticeable.  I feel like I should be taken seriously.  I feel like a grown-up.   I feel like I belong.

When I wear something that doesn’t seem to represent me, I feel lost.  I feel unnoticed.  And I fret all day long about what I am wearing.  When I can’t figure out what to wear and grab whatever, I feel like…  whatever.

I know I am not “whatever” so it’s time to start figuring out who I am.  And I’m hoping that the rest will soon follow.


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