I’ve been putting this post off for a week now because I haven’t been sure I can communicate my latest learnings without sounding a bit whiny. Wish me luck.
The main truth I’ve learned in my style adventure is not about style at all. It’s about finding places in my life where I am uncomfortable and moving through those things. I’ve had a few situations, other than style, to do this in and each experience has been quite rewarding. But I wasn’t necessarily looking for more discomfort to work through. It may be rewarding and all that, but it’s never fun when I’m in it. Blech. It’s tiresome, obnoxious and hard work.
Recently, I had to give back something I love. Something that defines me. A creative outlet. A tool that helps me express a serious passion of mine. Now, this tool isn’t lost forever, but at the moment I don’t have the cash to by a new one. (I’m talking about a camera – don’t roll your eyes!).
I gave it back for all the right reasons. After five years of borrowing this camera (aren’t mother-in-laws great?) she needed it back if she was ever going to break through some uncomfortable places of her own. I didn’t have to return it, I could tell. But I wasn’t going to be a part of someone’s excuses.
And now I’m left using the most hilarious, little joke of a camera. It’s ridiculous. It can’t be depended on. And it hurts my ego. I’m so embarrassed to be holding this piece of junk. Oops… I’m getting whiny.
Once the camera was gone, I felt a little depressed for a few days. Kinda freaked out. How was I going to shoot my daughter’s first ballet performance? How was I going to continue to update the motel’s website? What about this blog? Well, the blog dilemma was easy – I’d just quit. You can’t have a decent blog without decent images, right?
And then I realized, I was in another uncomfortable place that simply needed to be worked through. Simple? It doesn’t feel like it. And yet I’m already anticipating what I might learn as a result of all this. And feeling just a tiny bit excited about the possible outcome. But only a tiny bit, mind you. I’ve still got a bit to work through.
The only use of an obstacle is to be overcome. All that an obstacle does with brave men is, not to frighten them, but to challenge them. Woodrow Wilson