She Found Style

an attempt to discover my sense of style in one year and learning more about myself than I ever imagined along the way

A Lesson in What Makes Me ME

So.  I’ve been giving myself style lessons, right?  I’ve been experiencing an increase in confidence.  I’ve been feeling like a truer version of myself.  Sometimes I even think I’ve figured it all out.  Nonetheless, I received a funny little lesson the other day.

I headed into Portland for a haircut.  I threw on some clothes I felt good in and that felt like me.  See?  I’ve learned something.  I walked into the salon.  And just like that it was all over.  Turns out, just because I’ve learned a thing or two it doesn’t mean I’m Wonder Woman all of a sudden – impenetrable because of all my supposed confidence.  Nope.  Have no doubt, Insecurity is still alive and well.

The receptionist was beyond cool, beyond.  The stylist she was talking to was exoticbeautifulsexy and if that weren’t enough, she was friendly!  And me?  Plain, boring, sloppy, dull.  I had to chuckle as soon as I recognized my feelings of insecurity hadn’t gone away just because I was experiencing personal growth.  My feelings of doubt, incompetence, and overall lameness were still there.

Now, I keep mulling this story over and over trying to figure out what the happy ending is.  The wise lesson I’ve learned.  The cheerful spin on events.  But I can’t come up with a single one.  Nada.

The only thing I’ve realized is that my successes and my insecurities, my shining moments and my dark ones – they are all me.  I welcome the accomplishments and I learn to laugh when I screw things up.  I need each and every moment to really be myself.  And without them, I’m not much.  Every experience – good and bad – is required.

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11 thoughts on “A Lesson in What Makes Me ME

  1. sarah on said:

    I would just like to say that I think you are beautifulsexystylish.

  2. Great post, great thoughts, and what ditto to what Sarah said!

  3. How was the hair? I think we all have days like those to be honest. Dont be so hard on yourself. You ought to have seen me recently! decorating,moving house with no make-up, hair desperate to be washed and desperate for a pedicure and manicure! Sound appealing dont I?

    • Geraldine, Thanks for stopping by!! I don’t think it’s so much about being hard on myself. Insecurities are an everyday, human experience. Not letting the insecurities control me – that’s what it’s all about – right…?

  4. Joanna Goebel on said:

    You are way too hard on yourself Betsy. But we all do that–why??? Good for you for going on this journey. I hope you see yourself as we all see you soon!

    • Hey Joanna! The funny thing is, I do see myself as the world sees me (and I have to admit, I’m happy with what the world sees). Nonetheless, insecurities are simply a part of who we are. Like you said, we all experience those feelings. It’s what we do with those feelings that is really important. So glad you stopped by. Camping soon?

  5. I have so been there! It would be nice to think that it wouldn’t happen anymore after age 14! I like what you said about all of it is part of being yourself. Being real, who knew it would take courage? Accepting yourself is a good place to be. BTW, your hair looks great.

    • Cammie, I LOVE what you said – being real does take courage. Admitting to the world who we really are. It’s silly that it can be so hard for us but that’s why it is even more important for us to do so. And glad you like the new look – bravery was required but I love it. :)

  6. I think you are great, and your journey so incredibly important. To live life consciously we need to be aware of our insecurities and how to deal with them. You’re so brave to write about them and I admire your honesty and courage.
    I also bet that the ladies at the salon had no idea how you were truly feeling, as they’d see a confident, friendly woman anyway.

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